Alright, my user name is Trappedinside on here, but it's changed since then. I'm now going by DeadlyJuilet. That's about as close to an intro to me as you'll get. Well i've got a lot going on in my head and it's time I wrote it out.
I'm addicted to the T.V. show How I Met Your Mother. For those of you who don't know it, lose the social life and watch it because it's an amazing show. Anyway I've been watching this show nonstop and I can't stop feeling this I don't even know how to explain it, but it's just a feeling in my gut.There are these two characters I love in this show, and I can't explain it! This feeling I have isn't normal for me because I'm know at my school to be the Ice Queen!
I'm worse than the female players. My heart doesn't warm at couples or any of that crap. Nothing a guy says or does can melt me anymore. I use to love all that romantic cheesy shit, now I just roll my eyes. Nothing fazes me anymore. I wanted to never feel anything for anyone after what people have done to break my heart, but now I honestly would give anything to feel something for someone without taking the first exit out, this is how How I Met Your Mother fits into this.
1.) The exit reference is from the show, my favorite character Barney, had a metaphor that relationships are like a highway and there are different exits, 4 days, 3 weeks, 8 months, 1 1/2 year, and that's all he mentions I believe. I never stay on the freeway longer than three weeks now. As you can tell Barney is a womanizer and sleeps around, but he's scared and alone. There's a reason he's my favorite character and keep reading I'll explain it here eventually.
2.) Robyn is my other favorite character (I love them both) she's scared of love, never bets on it. She's an ice queen. she doesn't let love get in the way for her career and she runs the moment things get real. She can't express her feelings, she more or less runs from them, and she's cold when it comes to actually really liking someone. I'm like her, I can't bet on love, I never have.
Those are the two characters I love from the show and the thing is they end up together, that's why I love Barney and Robyn, they make each other better, they're both so scared of love they just run from it, but they try to stay because they think the feelings are worth it. Neither of them dare to bet on love, but they do. I want that, I wanna feeling something like that. I wanna stop running, I wanna stop being with these guys for a few weeks just because I don't want to be alone, I want something real, and I want real without running. When I with the guys I date I feel more alone than ever. I don't want to look into some guy's eyes and see they're crazy about me when I can't feel anything for them anymore, I can't keep doing that to them. I want to feel that way. Anyone reading this who watches the show regularly knows what I mean when I say this, I wanna feel the way Barney does about Robyn, and I want a guy to feel the same. I'm so frozen writing this, all of my emotions, I still can't cry. I don't care if this made sense, I just needed to say this. I want to fall in love again, but I want it to be real.
Songs:
1.) No More Wishing By Hayley Taylor
2.) Iris By Goo Goo Dolls
3.) When The Stars Go Blue By Bethany Lenz
4.) Smile By Uncle Kracker
5.) The Only Exception By Paramore
~This Is DeadlyJuilet/TheIceQueen saying goodbye for now.
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